My story isn't a story of surrender and bravery, but of me, yet again, hiding behind my fear of failure. And my fear becomes reality when I surrender to it instead of God. So ... what's left to say? Well, to give you a little update: I have not seen my friend again. I don't know what the Lord is doing in her life. But I am praying for her. I am praying that God will make himself known to her in very real tangible ways. I'm also praying that I get another chance to see her and share with her part of my story. Would you pray with me?
So you want to know what holds me back from commissioned moments. Fear. Plain and simple. I'm an introvert by nature and I walk away from many conversations just feeling stupid. I don't do small talk well. I just don't know what to say. I overcompencate with silliness and I just sound stupid.
Fear. What if I interpret a situation the wrong way. What if what I'm saying is wrong? What if, God forbid, I lead someone away from the Lord instead of toward him.
You know what makes the difference?
“When you are brought before synagogues, rulers and authorities, do not worry about how you will defend yourselves or what you will say, for the Holy Spirit will teach you at that time what you should say.” Luke 12:11-12
Surrender. Let the Holy Spirit speak through you. He'll give you words when you need them.
"When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus. " Acts 4:13
Freedom. This gives me the freedom to speak when I'm prompted. I don't save people. I don't even draw them to God. He does all the work in their heart. I only tell them what I know, what I've learned and what He's done for me. By the time you're reading this I will be on the road. I'm heading to The Women of Joy Conference. If you know me at all, you know this is not the kind of thing I jump on. This opportunity came out of the blue and in short notice. And I was supposed to be somewhere else this weekend. But God is funny like, He has plans for us that we wouldn't make ourselves.
So would you pray with me again Friends? Would you pray that God meets me there. Would you pray that God would give me, not only a time of refreshing my own soul, but commissioned moments. Would you pray that I, this time, wouldn't walk away afraid, but that I would be totally surrendered to His call?
I cant wait to tell you all about it. In the mean time, what about you? Have you surrendered?
Hi Annie, thanks so much for sharing! Just came across your blog, and was so touched by your post--both this one and the one about your commissioned moment. I feel like we are so similar--I, too, am an introvert and in those situations have felt that same panic. I praise God that even when we fail, He gives us second chances. I think you're brave, if that counts for anything!! Hope you have a wonderful time at this conference and will be praying that you meet God in new and big ways!
ReplyDeleteThank you Friend! So I just went through several post on your blog. Beautiful. Just beautiful. I can not wait to dig a little deeper there and see what all God is doing in your life. Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus, just to take Him at His word ...
DeleteI'm not sure it's fair to say that is not a story of bravery- you went back and she was there. Just as God intended. A lot of people would not even have listened to hear His call. Thank you for the encouragement.
ReplyDeleteSurrender is hard for a girl who likes to be in control. But you know, my need to control is rooted in fear. And if I really honestly trust that He is who He says He is, then what have I to fear? Why would I not surrender every time He calls? Thank you Friend!
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