I am not the Holy Spirit

Thursday, August 21, 2014

I am no the Holy Spirit. That seems a silly thing to think let alone say out loud. But it’s something I've had to tell myself a lot lately. I am not the Holy Spirit. I am not God. I am not Jesus living a perfect life. I don’t draw people to God; I point them in the right direction.

This summer. You may have noticed I’ve been gone a while. And two posts ago I added at song called “Dry Bones” by Lauren Daigle.  That’s what this summer felt like for me. I felt like I was running around doing a lot of pointing and yelling and directing, but no one was listening. I was speaking to dry bones. I watched people around me, people that God has placed there, being overwhelmed and walking away. And I’m begging them to stand up … but they can’t they won’t. And it makes me feel like a failure.

God is the one who brings the dead to life. Not me. I only point.

I am learning how to work and find rest.

Rest.

Freedom.

It sounds wrong to say. As a stay-at-home mom with two kids in school now, rest feels like I’m being lazy. I’m not lazy. I’m tired. I am constantly pouring myself out to others and feel guilty to even need time for myself. But if I’m totally honest, when I’m tired the time I’m giving to others doesn’t count. Be completely honest with me for a moment. When I’m tired, I am making dinner for my family, but I’m cranky and want the kids out of the kitchen so I can do it myself. Shouldn’t I be inviting them in and teaching them to cook? When I’m tired and having lunch with a friend, all I want to do is unload my problems on her and I have no time to listen. And even if I do, I’m mentally comparing her world to mine and how mine is so much harder. I tend to be less patient with my kids and with my husband. Even though I have time with people, it's not quality time, just time. And when I’m tired, I’m rushing through life and miss the little opportunities God gives me each day. The opportunities to point others to him. The opportunities to hear him answer a prayer I’ve been praying for weeks.

Sometimes God speaks through the big things, like my computer crashing this summer. Sometimes God speaks in the little things like your kids talking in the backseat.

I think I’ve become so busy in doing the good work, that I’ve missed the real work. What I’m doing, all of it, is good work. But some of it isn’t mine to do. I’m taking up space where someone else is praying for space.

I’m taking a step back … again. I’m taking my eyes back to Jesus. I’m asking Him to show me my good work. I'm finding space to breathe in who He is and what it is that He wants me to do. 

So things are changing for me. Pray for me as I keep my heart open to his calling.

But today. 

Right now.

This moment.

I’m unrolling my mat.

I’m rooting down.

I’m pushing play on this song.

I’m turning my eyes to Jesus.

And for the next 12 minutes, I will worship.



August: Playlist & Schedule

Friday, August 1, 2014

Ok Friends, Here it is! The August Playlist. I can not tell you how pumped I am about August! I can not wait to see what God has in store for us on our mats this month. Summer break is over and our kids are back in school. While I hate to see them go, I'm sure thankful to get back to a regular schedule. We all need it!

Healer: Hollyann
Beautiful: Mali Music
Shake It Out: Florence & The Machine
Anchor: Beautiful Eulogy (Josh Garrels)
Keeps Me Going: Melinda Doolittle
Wanted: Dara Maclean
Beautiful Day: Jamie Grace
We Are Brave: Shawn McDonald
Lose My Soul: Tobymac (Kirk Franklin & Mandisa
The Mountain: Trevor Hall
Only Love: Ben Howard
I Believe: Mali Music
Beautiful King: Danyew
Be Still, O My Soul: The City Harmonic
Calling on Fire: Bellarive
There are several questions that are recurring at the end of my yoga classes. One is about the music I play. The other is about my schedule. A few months ago I started posting my music because it was just easier to direct my student here. I thought, why not do the same with my schedule? That way, even my husband can look it up when he forgets!
So this is my schedule for August. These are the classes and locations I'll be at if you're looking for me. Theses are subject to change as life happens, but for the most part, it's correct. I do want to mention that the two facilities I work at have other amazing instructors whose schedules are not mentioned here. This is just for those who are looking for me.

  
I want to thank you all so much! I love what I do and I'm still in awe that I get to do this job. I couldn't do it without you!
So, if you can, join me in class. If not, grab the playlist and your mat. Move your body and worship. Friends, we are called to love the Lord with all our hearts and all our souls and all our strength. In Him we move and breath and have our being.
Anything you want to hear next month?
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