If I’m going to tell you a story, I guess I should start at
the beginning …
Just a quick update, my name is Annie and I’m a yoga
instructor. It’s not where I saw my life going, but God did. He called me to be
a light in a dark community. If you want to read that story, start here. Go
ahead, I’ll wait …
So, by now, you’re probably wondering what that’s got to do
with Nehemiah. I’m not quite there yet, just hang with me a minute. So, after a
while of teaching yoga and learning how to do that well, I wanted to know more.
I wanted to go deeper. I prayed about how to grown in knowledge and still
guarding my heart. One of the things God was teaching me at the time was that I
couldn’t teach what I didn’t know. If I was going to be a light in a dark
community I needed to be in His word deeper. I needed to know yoga deeper. If I
was going to be taken seriously on either subject , I needed to know more.
After a while of praying and listening, I found Holy Yoga.
Over the next few months God made it clear that was to be my
next step. But it was not quite time. It’s really hard when God shows you a bit
of your future, but will not let you have it. There was work that needed to be
done first.
One day I was praying and confused and frustrated. God took
me to Nehemiah. Through our afternoon there, God told me that there was a great
work to be done. He was preparing and providing for each step of the way, I
needed to listen and trust. He showed me there would be a time of waiting and
planning, He would give me a plan. There would be opposition from the outside
and from the inside, because a mighty work of God does not come without some
pushback. But that opposition was not for me to worry about. He would take care
of all my obstacles. And the last thing He told me that day was, all of this
time of waiting has a purpose. When the time comes to move, just like Nehemiah
and the King, it will be quick.
For the sake of time here, we’ll just say that last 11
months have been a refining period in my life. God has been working in me and
burning off things that I cannot carry into the next chapter of my life. Some
have been very painful and some I didn’t even know I still carried. He’s grown
relationships and cut some others off. It has been a good and sweet and very
hard time with the Lord. If I tried to tell you everything that’s happened over
the last year, we’d be here forever. So can you just trust me that He’s spoken
in some pretty significant ways? Just to give you a taste, I’ll tell you this
one with most of the details.
So a few weeks ago I was again at a place where, in
reference to Holy Yoga, I was broken down and frustrated and confused. I know
beyond a shadow of doubt this is where I am supposed to be, but I just don’t see
a way there. (Did I mention this is about a $3,000 commitment?) What I’m about
to say, I do not encourage as a way of speaking to God. But this day, I got
angry. Praying I said, “God I just don’t understand what you’re doing. (knowing
full well what I was saying was wrong) God if I am too distracted by Holy Yoga
to see what you really want from me, please take this desire away. But God if
this is what you want from me then do it! God I want there to be a clear sign.
I want someone to come up to be and hand me a check. I want them to say, ‘God
wants me to give this money to you for Holy Yoga’ and God, I don’t want it to
be someone who knows me. I want it to be a complete stranger. If that happens,
then I will know that this is you. If not, then I’ll forget about it and walk
away.”
Pretty bold way to speak to God. I think He was laughing at
me. Literally four days later, I got a message from a woman I don’t really
know. She’s been a friend on Instagram, but other than that, she’s a stranger.
She said, and I kid you not, I would like to pay your down payment to register
for Holy Yoga. I wanted to do it a while ago, but I didn’t feel like God wanted
me to yet.
I was floored. Again, even in my unwillingness to just
trust, God was faithful. Because that’s who He is. Over the next week, Jamie
and I prayed about it and talked about it. On Monday, Jamie went on a trip, one
that I would not have contact with him for a week. On Monday, SHEREADSTRUTH started
the book of Nehemiah. I was thrilled and could not wait. I could feel the Lord
working and I couldn’t get into this book fast enough. On Monday, I got a call
from Holy Yoga about my down payment. It was time to put the plan into action.
I was worried but God made it clear through that first day in Nehemiah, the
time of waiting was over, put the plan into action. I will take care of the
rest.
In the last 17 days in the book of Nehemiah, God has taught
me so much.
- Extraordinary things happen when you move with God. Not running ahead but walking beside.
- Keep God in His rightful place. Don’t exalt the power of man and diminish the power of God.
- God’s plan always has more eternal value than we can understand.
- What good is a strong wall, if the people inside the wall are corrupt?
- Faithfully living for God includes DAILY Repentance/Worship/Recommitment. DAILY
Because if the book had ended one chapter before, I could
walk away with a list of things to do, and thought it would be easy to return
to God and keep all His laws. By seeing this, I am again reminded that, it’s a
DAILY Repentance/Worship/Recommitment. Don’t get comfortable in thinking that I
worked for the blessing in my life. It’s nothing that I’ve done, but all the
goodness and good gifts of a loving God. It’s all Him! Never forget, don’t get
lazy, keep working to know Him better.
I’m so thankful that God has used the book of Nehemiah intertwined
with my yoga journey. It’s a reminder to me over and over that God can do great
things I don’t understand through me for the kingdom if I trust Him and walk
with him step by step. For me to be used, I must continue to learn, because I
can’t teach what I don’t know. That goes for yoga and His word. And He’s
teaching me to keep my eyes on Him always, DAILY, so that I don’t get lost in the
culture around me that could easily draw me away from God. Keep my eyes on Him.
Give Him all the praise and glory. Keep Him in His rightful place. DAILY
repentance/worship/recommitment.
What big thing is God doing in your life?
Thank you for making such a personal connection to this Book. What a great reminder that we "don't got it" without God. Daily repentance, worship, and recommitment are so important...DAILY!!!
ReplyDeleteI know Friend, right? It's a step by step check. I can trust God no matter what. His ways are always better. I wish I could recount for everyone every step He's taken me through this past year. It is mind blowing that He loves me so much, that He's willing to wait patiently until I get it. He's such a personal God if we'll let Him into deep places.
DeleteAmen.I asked The Lord this week to show me where I need cleansing. It is a daily part of our sacrificial offering, that I can praise HIM with a pure heart. It would be so easy for Nehemiah to have given up ,to rest on his laurels of being the only righteous person in the land. But he stays on task,When we stand before The Lord, our only defence will be HIS mercy and grace covering our human condition called sin.
DeleteThanks Diane! I loved seeing Nehemiah coming back ... it's so right. He could have just walked away and said, "oh well Lord, I tried. I can't do anything with these people! I give up!!" But He didn't. He kept on encouraging the people to turn their hearts back to the Lord. That's what we're supposed to do for each other.
DeleteSo many good truths here, thank you for sharing! Aren't you glad Nehemiah didn't end on chapter 12!? I love your thoughts on daily reckoning with God. I LOVE the book "The Life You've Always Wanted" (Ortner). (Don't judge it by it's title/cover, it's legit!) Talks about practicing spiritual disciplines in FREEDOM!
ReplyDeleteThanks Laura!
DeleteThe first time I read Nehemiah I was frustrated. I think going back through the whole book in such a deep and personal way, this time I am more thankful for this ending. I don't want a "movie" ending. I'm so thankful that God kept the bible real. We don't always have happy endings in an imperfect world and body. Romans 7 Go read it from the Message translation. I love this so much! I try and try and I even try to will myself to do good. I delight in God's law but I can't keep it because something inside me tries to sabotage me. The only answer to this is Jesus ... (that's kinda a paraphrase of it) I love it! We can look at the Israelites and shake our heads and look down on them until we look at our own lives and our own patterns. That's why it has to be daily, not weekly, but daily. That's why we are called to live in community to encourage, strengthen and keep each other accountable. It's funny you mentioned "The Life You've Always Wanted" by John Ortberg! We read it a few years ago in our Community Group. We all laughed at the cover and our leader said the same thing, "Don't judge, it's solid stuff" It was wonderful!
So that I don't get lost in the culture that's around me....there it is. Getting lost in this world, which is not our home...so many people, places, things that distract us. Daily...even hourly for me...remembering
DeleteSo true Leslie, so true.
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